Oh! But Maria Clara's Lame!

It's a funny thing in Filipino culture that the whole concept of the ideal woman is taken from the image of Maria Clara... Oh we all know her, Maria Clara -that pretty, shy and demure lady whom all the guys and their mothers adore. After all, most of us (filipino women) were brought up in her mold. We'd often hear our mothers, aunts, and grandmothers tell us lines like, "Hija, you shouldn't laugh so loud. The size of your mouth reflects the size of you *aherm*" or "Girls shouldn't go chasing after boys and a true lady should always play hard to get (maldita effect)." In most filipino households, women have been cast into the image of this Spanish-era fictional Filipina and how society views the way she might act in modern times. We have been told to cover our mouths with a hanky when we'd laugh in public, speak in soft voices, and of course, be shy or even "cold" around the company of men (especially when they flirt).

However, I've always had doubts on this whole Filipino concept of the Maria Clara. Sure, I agree that an ideal woman shouldn't go around being a tease or throw herself to the pleasure of boys, but I just cannot understand that the image of a beautiful woman should be one that is cold-hearted, condescending and prude. You see, even though I was mostly brought up around traditional Filipino values, I guess I could say that I've had my fair share of both worlds. After all, being the only daughter and growing up with three older brothers, one has to adjust to the wavering summons of being a "lady" or of being "one of the boys."

I'd like to think that I am quite liberal in how I view things these days. I agree in the partial concept of Maria Clara as an image of a strong woman who knows her worth and would not throw herself amongst undeserving suitors, but I abhor the sight of her toying with men's feelings or looking at them from above a pedestal like they're the most filthy things she has seen. I believe in equality and I believe in giving most people a fair chance (I believe that Feminism = Women Empowerment not "women should go barbecue men and rule the world"... where's the FUN in that?! HAHA! Get it? Besides the whole "Maria Clara" concept is even anti-Feminist in so many aspects). That's why I don't see anything wrong if a modern Filipina woman would be more friendly towards men or would open herself up to getting to know more people or even (*wink* *wink*) dating.

I'm not saying she has to be rowdy or throw herself towards people. All I am saying is that I wouldn't think it would hurt to open one's self to harmless conversations or to smile back if some cute random stranger (who seems harmless) throws you a nice grin (*aherm*). After all, we're no longer wearing our Lola's half-slips ladies. Haha. And thus, my best friend and I coined our new image of a more mature and strong female concept of Marie Claire -that modern Filipina woman who is in-control of her own life, knows what she wants, and is secure enough to view herself as an equal amongst the company of men. She still has her values in tact of course, but she's not a prude nor is she stuck-up. (You see why Jose Rizal killed Maria Clara in his novel?!!! And she died from misery too!!! Hahaha) Viva Marie Claire!!!

BUT here's the irony of it all. I've always been convicted with my ideas on Maria Clara and I've been pretty sure that I was right on track in trying to become the ideal Marie Claire.. until... today! Well the funny thing is, old habits die hard! And no matter how hard I try to be approachable and friendlier, sometimes I guess it's just not so easy when you don't have that modern and liberal concept of self-confidence backing you up when you need it the most. So when a cute guy (aherm!) gave me "the moves" today (allow me to assume ok?! I don't know him anyway! Hmph! Hahaha! And it really was flattering! AYAW NA PALAG! Hahaha!)... sadly, all I could manage to do was give a pathetic half-smile and avoid eye contact.. because because.. oh not because I think too highly of myself or because I'm a prude... hahahaha.. it was all because little ol' me was still too shy to pull a good Marie Claire on him! Hahahaha. I guess I still need some more practice after all. As what my best friend would keep telling me, "Oh don't be Maria Clara! She's lame! Be Marie Claire!!!"... Now I only have to work a little more on this whole self-confidence thing... Hahahaha.. Lessons anyone!? HAHAHA!!...

P.S. This is a really "girly" post, and it's coming from a weird heterosexual girl's point-of-view. So please don't crucify me if I tend to generalize too much. You can always rebut my ideas if you want!!! Feel free!