I'm Trying To Stop Whining. Seriously. Haha

I'm going to start writing in bullets again because there are quite a few things on my mind lately...

- I don't like the feeling of getting up in the morning and not knowing what to do. I guess now I've learned to appreciate how much of a wonderful thing it is to have a ROUTINE. It's not that I want my life to become an unending cycle of work, sleep, work and sleep. Of course, I'd still love to have adventure and spontaneity in life, but the thing is, I hate not having a clear-cut plan for everyday or not knowing what exactly I have to accomplish for the remaining hours. Spontaneity and living life in a "come what may" manner, I believe, should be reserved on special days to relax... like during weekends, after days and days of hard work.

- I keep forcing myself to have a positive outlook for things. But I understand how hard it can be when it seems you can't keep track of your actual goals anymore. Waiting is such an agonizing thing really.

- I was talking and catching up with my best friend last night and I just realized how much I terribly miss her. I understand what her boyfriend meant when he told me how difficult it is not to have someone around for intellectual conversations or goofing around in such a manner that isn't forced. Don't get me wrong. I have lots of friends that are great conversationalists and are really quite interesting to spend time with, but I guess it's different when you've gotten used to a certain person who was always just around. It's not the same.

- I wanted to say to a friend the other day that eventually he'd have to tell himself to STOP WHINING AND SUCK IT ALL IN. Of course, I knew that I was also trying to tell myself the very same thing. Hahaha

- There's this thing that I really want. And I know it's quite a selfish thing to ask for at a time when all I should be is selfless and understanding. At the back of my mind I hope for it still, but of course I don't bother mentioning it much anymore. Last night however, I heard someone mention that there might be hope... maybe there might... who knows.

- People should know that they cannot just come in and out of someone's life as they please. It's just wrong.

- It's funny that when someone asked me about a certain thing, all I could answer was, "It's still there. It's just there. It's always just around." I couldn't think of anything else that I could honestly say about it anyway. So I'm wondering whether this is a good or bad thing. Sometimes I think I'm such a terrible person and I don't know how to appreciate something good when it's right in front of me.

- I don't understand why in a poor country such as the Philippines, people have to make things difficult for others -as if things aren't hard enough just as they are. Lines are always longer, there seem to be more papers to fill-up, more steps to take, more people or signatures to seek, more receipts to show... seriously, I can't understand why there has to be so much unnecessary things to be done when people should just be helping each other to get into a better position in life. It would be alright if the systems alone are the only things that are "backwards," but when people have to think "backwards" as well, somehow one just can't help but feel that it's a hopeless case.